Awake

I feel like I just woke up from a coma

And the first thing I remembered was a face that I don't know anymore...

A face I have not seen in years.. 

I don't know if such a thing as a lucid coma exists, but it's the closer image I can get for what I'm living since the past week

I woke up

Everything before and during the coma exist simultaneously in my mind right now

And I'm trying to find a place for every memory and every feeling that came back to me

And this face

This persisting face

The face the has never been here and now is everywhere I go

This familiar face

This dear face

That once was my home, my mirror, my face

The face that came to me on the most powerful dream 

to wake me up

Every once and awhile I gotta remember myself of this song, its message, sound...

All the thoughts,... You never see,... You're always thinking,...
Brain is wired,... Brain is deep,... Oh are you sinking?,...
Feel the path of every day,... Which road you taking?,...
Breathing hard,...  Making hay,... Yeah this is living,...

Look for love & evidence,... That you're worth keeping,...

Swallowed whole in negatives,... It's so sad & sickening,...

Feel the air up above,... A pool of blue sky,...
Fill the air up with love,... Oh Black w/starlight,...

Feel the sky blanket you,... With gems & rhinestones,...
See the path cut by the moon,... For you to walk on,...
For you to walk on,...

Nothing left,... Nothing left,...
Nothing there,... Nothing left,...

See the path cut by the moon,... For you to walk on,...
See the waves on distant shores,... Awaiting your arrival,...

Dream the dreams of other men,... You'll be no ones rival,...
Dream the dreams of others then,... You will be no ones rival,...
You will be no ones rival,...

A distant time,... A distant space,... That's where we're living.,..
A distant time,... A distant place,... So what you giving?,...
What you giving?

(music and words by Pearl Jam)

From Post Secret

If it was that simple, I would have already finished.

Believe me.

From here

The day I met Hugh Jackman

Last night I met Hugh Jackman on a corner two blocks from my home. We talked a little bit and he was as nice as I always thought he would be. Then it started to snow.
I live in the middle of Amazon. The forest, not the e-store. I was dreaming, of course. 
My unconscious has such a bittersweet way to tell me I'm asking for too much...

At least the week begins with a laugh.

By the way, or not, this is the 500º post of this blog. It took almost 10 years to reach the mark. I'm slow, I know.

Song for tonight (and maybe for the whole week)

Did I post this before? Just can't remember...
Some songs are there in our playlists just waiting for the right moment, the right mood, the right night.. and so it came

I don't want to sleep.

Songs of 2014 - top 5 most played

St Patrick's Day

Photo: http://trendphotos.org/

You can be sure that

I always dance to "Dancing with myself", no matter where I am.
And I often play this song at home, to dance while I wash the dishes or just to shake things up and get on a better mood.

No, I'm not 40, not even close.

Mafalda

#vemprarua #itsnotabout20cents #acordabrasil 

A song about last week

They'll cast us out
Down the mountainside
When they see that
We were right all the time

They'll hang us in the wood at night
When they see that
We are on the winning side

So we'll hide out in here
Before they take the rest of us outside

They'll burn down cities
And tear the trees up
In one last demonstration
Of their powers

And they'll swell up
Till their heads explode
And that's when we come out
And take back what is ours

We don't need to be silent anymore
And they can't take us outside

A cornered dog is a dangerous dog
And you don't need to listen anymore
To its barking

Just take it outside
And put the rabies-spitting beast down

Veto - Take it outside

I wish I could pick up just one quote from this song, but I couldn't. It's perfect, it matches exactly how we feel, how I feel right now about everything that's going on in São Paulo, Rio and spreading to the whole country.

We need a lot of things but first of all freedom and respect, so we will be able to debate and change. We have the right to disagree, to doubt and to express our frustration. 

We are right. And we know it. 

Please support the protests in Brasil by using tags like the ones below on Twitter or Facebook.

#acordaBrasil #protestosBrasil #itsnotabout20cents #dontcometotheworldcup 

Thought of the day

Every day, every hour
just wish that I 
was bullet proof

Radiohead - "Bullet proof.. I wish I was"

like Ted Mosby...

I hope I'm just 45 days away from meeting the most amazing person of my life.

(maybe 90 days)

About death, love, broken hearts, failing marriages, etc.

Disseste que se tua voz tivesse força igual

a imensa dor que sentes

teu grito acordaria não só a tua casa

mas a vizinhança inteira

("Há tempos" - Legião Urbana)

Last week was everything but fun, not at all what I was planning for my annual St. Patrick's week.

I've started reading Love is a mix tape at the beginning of February and I was going quite fast until the death part. Then I had to stop for a while. All that mourning talk was making me feel bad. I still don't know why I decided that last week would be the moment to finish this book... What a horrible decision! It totally ruined my humor. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful book, full of love and the honesty of a open broken heart. That's what put me down.

It was a mix of everything: my crazy fear of dying, my own experiences of loss and the fact my mom was a young widow too. Not so young as Rob was and not dealing with it the same way (she managed to keep very focus on the family actually) but all that put together, plus all the talk about music as a place for memories have let me melancholic. It's a good book, really. It ends in a very positive way to be fair, and I'm very  surprised it has not become a film so far. It has all the potential to be a great indie movie.

Searching for a different kind of story and vibe I rented End of watch but it didn't help much. The actors did an excellent job (and I wish America Ferrera had more scenes, I do like her so much!) but in terms of reality about police action and drug cartels I still think Tropa de Elite goes far beyond the obvious, looking for the real problem. (EoW script still allows Americans to believe in the easier answer that this is an immigration's issue). 

Somehow by the end of the movie I started thinking Jake could play Rob Sheffield at cinema. He couldn't be less Irish, I know, but he's at the right age and in all the interviews for this movie he looks so sad and disconnected from the real world that I believe he's ready to play a young widow trying to find he's away back to life through music. But it has to be now, while his on the mood. In the next 5 minutes, the guy will fall in love and marry someone like Scarlet Johansson or Rachel McAdams (I don't know, are they still single?) and then it would be just pure sadism to ask him to go back being a sad lonely bastard again. (He's still too good looking, too L.A, I know. Let's find someone else..)

So Saturday came and I thought all my sadness would go away, but not only the party I went sucked as I had to face the bizarre hurtful truth of a friend's marriage breaking apart in front of me. I don't know what to do, not even if I should do something, since we've been friends for a very short time and nobody have asked for my help. Even so I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole Sunday and I've got myself praying for them yesterday. 

Feeling like I'm carrying all the misery of the world, I ran my ass off at the gym but it didn't help either. I just wish I could cry my way out of all this already but I can't. It has nothing to do with me but I'm mourning too.

Waiting

Actually I'm dying to watch this movie! Celine and Jesse are my favorite fictional couple...

#BeforeMidnight

Breakfast at Tiffany's

I love the original couple from the 1961's version, but I must confess I don't think that story was properly told. 7,8 on IMDb doesn't match the reality, even with the great Audrey Hepburn leading the cast.

I was watching the movie again last week and it occurred to me: since Hollywood is so into doing new versions of iconic movies (and sometimes the original was barely released, like the amazing Let the right on in), redoing Breakfast would be a great chance to explore better so many things about the characters... 

I would definitely keep the story on the late 50's, the stylish wardrobe and I think Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway could do a great job reviving those two characters.

I know, another movie with them, together? 

I say yes, because if there's one thing from the original that should be kept and these two can easily bring back is charm and empathy in a very classical Hollywood way. 

No sex scenes, no nudity, of course. All that skin in Love and other drugs was enough for an era. Oh, and I think Hathaway would be fantastic singing "Moon River". 

Teacher's day

I love to be a teacher. I never thought I would feel so happy to stand up there in a class, getting to know so many people, their dreams, their feelings, their histories...
Sometimes they make me crazy but most of the time they keep me sane.

Hey Monday, how are you?

Some days... well some days should be spent in bed, definitely.

So The Afghan Whigs are back...

... but I'm still dreaming about The Twilight Singers in this country one of these days. And when I say dreaming I mean literally! Happened last night! =D


Anyway, I wouldn't mind the Whigs in some festival or solo gig here. Not really. Not at all, actually. I wonder if there's any chance...

a Sunday night thought

From Bansky

2012 morning (and afternoon) in Mosqueiro