40 for 40

So today is my birthday and I decided to imitate Bono and do a playlist for my 40s
These songs didn't exactly save my life but they pretty much help me to tell my personal history, from 13 to 30-something
As he did, I have picked only one song from each artist otherwise it would be a list of 40 songs by Radiohead or U2.
It's funny that, looking for what I've been listening through my life, I remembered of songs and bands I was so sure they would be in my life forever.. and they don't, actually. But there are 2 or 3 on the list that I have stopped listen and really don't know why... I still love them
So if you have nothing to do, wanna to know why I've chosen some of these tracks or just want to compare tastes, here we go

1. Pet Shop Boys - Domino Dancing
2. New Order - Regret

I think Pet Shop Boys was the very first band I paid attention to the sound and decided I liked it. Even as a kid I was attracted to Suburbia and It's a sin or, better saying, to the rhythm of the songs. It was the same with New Order. I was familiar to many of their songs but Regret made me learn the name of the band and pay attention to who they are. 

3. Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm

It was different from everything around me back then. And the video was so beautiful. It was the first time someone changed the radio station and I've said "No leave it there!". I got a look of disapproval in return but I felt I was right! I was 13 and I understood something other people didn't. It was glorious.  

4. U2 - Stay (farway, so close)

So hard to pick just one song so I did it by the same strategy for New Order. U2 was familiar but Stay made me stop and listen to everything they had recorded, learn all about them and dream to be the girl from the song's video. (This song is also about an encounter, a dance in the balcony and the wondering about different choices in life)

5. Cranberries - Ode to my family

The first three albums of them are so important to me. No need to argue it's the best one in my opinion, you can listen to all the songs without skipping any track 

6. The Cure - A letter to Elise

Disintegration has been my favorite album for the past 10 years but Wish was the first one I bought and listened to over and over. And over.

7. Morrissey - Suedehead

I know we all hate Morrissey now but this song is about a time I was starting to go out at night and have fun, and also about this place where I used to go with my friends. This song was played by a local band ever single night we were there. 

8. The Beatles - Strawberry Fields Forever

I discovered The Beatles with a little help from my friends at school. I was 15. It sounds like 1965 but it was 1995. We felt so cool, in the middle of Spice Girls and boybands fever we were listening to Beatles. Only nerd kids at the 90s would feel cool listening to old people's music. And because of that all my notebooks from high school had the quote "Nothing is real" written by pen inside their back covers.

9. Oasis -Wonderwall

When I was a teenager I could barely understand anything in English just by listening to it. Sometimes not even reading it. So I asked my English teacher what Wonderwall meant. He laughed and said it made no sense what so ever. He said I must have got the word wrong and I felt so ashamed... 

10. Wallflowers - Josephine

Nobody knows where they are these days (right?), but Bring down the horse is a great album that I only bought thanks to my brother who put half of the money for it. What? I was a teenager, it wasn't cheap, ok? 

11. Radiohead - High and dry

Here began my love story with this band. The whole The Bends album is perfect and historical to me, I only picked High and dry because it was the first single (I think). I begged my mom to buy it. We didn't had money to spend on something I would only listen to a couple of times and then throw it away (that was her argument). I promised it was not the case and it really wasn't it. 

12. REM - Crush with eyeliner

Still don't know what the fuck is a sad tomato, but I love this song. But I must confess, I actually consider Automatic for the people and New adventures in hi-fi my favorite albums.

13. Pearl Jam - Alive

I think it was the same emblematic year of 1995 when I first listened to Ten. I liked immediately but it took many years to get to know the rest of Pearl Jam's discography. Thank God they are in my life for good now.

14. Live - White, discussion

So, the same group with whom I was listening The Beatles, one of the girls had a copy of Throwing Cooper and all the others had a chance to borrow it. I guess I alone was the most famous song, but White, discussion stuck with me.

15. The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony

Everybody liked it back them and whoever says it didn't is fucking lying! Such a great song.

16. Placebo  - Without you I'm nothing

At the beginning of 2000, Placebo was sexy and intense. A bit of glam and a bit of emo. 

17. Coldplay - Trouble

There are other Coldplay songs I could put in here but, when I was still in college, I was part of a internship program and in the room where the group worked was always playing a local radio station. Trouble was on their set list almost every day. 

18. Travis - Re-Offender

So this is one of the bands I thought I would be listening forever. This song in particular was huge

19. Madonna - Nothing really matters

I wasn't a fan of Madonna before Ray of light. Well maybe a fan is an exaggeration even today, but this album had a huge impact on me and made me go back to Erotica, Bedtime Stories (my favorite) and definitely put Madonna on my radar. 

20. INXS - Everything

I love Elegantly Wasted from the first to the last song. 

21. Cardigans - Erase/Rewind

I don't really like Cardigans but this was on my playlist every time I hit the road between 2004 and 2007. And I was traveling a lot. 

22. Joy Division - Transmission

If New Order has been forever in my life, Joy Division was a act of personal discovery. I was finally where I wanted to be all my life but it wasn't easy. I was by myself and experiencing life in a exciting and frightening way at the same time. Listen to Transmission out loud at my place was a ritual.

23. PJ Harvey - We float

Stories from the city, stories from the sea could define everything in my life between 2004 - 2007. In some way, We float was professing me how everything would end. And so it did.

24. Franz Ferdinand - This fire

Not everything is about depression and loneliness, thankfully. Every time I need to shake it and smile, FF is there for me. Their gig for Tonight: Franz Ferdinand tour in São Paulo was one of the best concerts of my life.

25. Yeah yeah yeahs - Deja vu

Until about 6 years ago I was periodically dreaming about working with cinema. I wanna to write for it, maybe direct too. I still have ideas of plot for stories every one and a while but I don't pretend I will do anything with them anymore, sadly. They just come.. and go. Anyway, this was supposed to be the soundtrack of one of these stories.

26. Doves - One of these days

I used to listen The Doves all the time! What happened? Making this playlist, the moment this song came along I wanted to play all their albums at once. Thinking rationally, you gotta make room for change so other songs and ideas must come, but I felt like had failed a great friend. Some cities, oh my God, pure 2006 to me.

27. Interpol - Pioneer to the falls

Being honest, Antics was played to the point of exhaustion. But when Our love to admire came along I was taken by Pioneer to the falls in a way I didn't listen to the rest of the album for days. I would lay down at my mom's living room, in the dark, and listen to this song on repeat, imaging so many version of one that stories. The whole cinematography of the scenes was influenced by the power of this song.    

28. Twilight Singers - Esta noche

At some point in 2008 (or maybe 2009) I rewatched the film Backbeat and tried to find the soundtrack online. One Greg Dulli was part of the band playing versions of some very early Beatles songs on the soundtrack and, before I knew, I was listening to The Twilight Singers all the time. My favorite song of them was yet to be written, but it doesn't mean Esta Noche is not pure perfection, as it is the whole Blackberry Belle. And She loves you. 

29. The rumor said fire - Dance
30. Spleen United - Suburbia
31. Veto - You say yes, I say yes

So I had this Danish music phase... let's leave it like that

32.Muse - Supermassive Blackhole

Wow I had this huge Muse phase between Absolution and The Resistance. Not that I don't like anymore, it just doesn't match what is going on now. This was a great song to listen in the treadmill, it really used to boost up the training.  

33. Depeche Mode - I feel you

It could have been a great love story but it was just a mutual appreciation of one another. And Depeche Mode, of course.

34. Death cab for cutie - I will possess your heart

I resisted very suspiciously to the Death Cab frenzy... until the album Narrow Stairs, which I love and even bought the cd and everything. Unfortunately the relationship with the band didn't evolve but this song definitely left its mark.

35. Shout out loud - Hard Rain

Swedes... 

36. Paul Thomas Saunders - Appointment in Samara

I was a heavy user of Soundclound for years... (Even when Spotify was available in Brazil I resisted quite a while to join it. Many times, when there's too much fuzz about a app, a movie, a band, I go on the opposite direction and avoid it as it were the worst thing possible.) So I loved to discover new artists and remixes of songs I already knew on Soundcloud when I've found this such talent guy. His songs paints these very open landscapes. I always feel like walking alone in some weird wide spaces. And I kind was going a long road inside myself.

37. Mark Lanegan - Ode to sad disco

I don't remember but I'm pretty sure I got to Mark Lanegan through Greg Dulli. I have embraced Blues Funeral since the first listening and went to the concert in SP thanks to a dream I've had where Dulli told me to do so. Best advice on a dream ever.

38. Glen Hansard and Markéta Inglová - When your mind is made up

The actual track I wanted to list here was Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - Let the lord shine a light on me, but is not available on Spotify, and the HD where I had it is broken. Nevertheless, by the same time Once Soundtrack was huge at home too, not only to me but to my siblings. The way that this songs grows is fantastic, makes you want to scream along too.

39. Norah Jones - Say goodbye

I've been listening to Norah Jones since her very first album, but none of them has touched me like Little Broken Hearts. I've tried to buy the vinyl so many times but it seems I'm always out of money or the dollar exchange makes it too expensive... right now it's just impossible. 

40. Afghan Whigs - Parked Outside 

Here too it should be listed some other song, a cover version Afghan Whigs made to Lovecrimes.  I confess to never have ever listened the Frank Oceans' original because I think this cover is so magical and perfect I doubt he could do better. It was another gem I've listened on Soundcloud and its not available anywhere but there. I highly suggest everyone to go there and go crazy. In my recent history I think Afghan Whigs is the most relevant band added to the list of "Bands and songs to explain who I am or how did I got here". Do to the beast was solid 2013-2014 and still goes on.

That's it. 40 songs for 40 years.

PS:
There will be another list for songs in Portuguese. Maybe. I don't know.

Historical analysis

Nationality is a controversial matter to me. Of all things Modern Society has invented, countries and nationalities are hard to believe. Hard to me, I mean (but not only to me, since there's plenty of people and research programs studying these subjects).

Anyway...

Even questioning the idea of what it is or what it means to be Brazilian, there's a problem, a historical process on this country and myself that are incredible similar and unresolved so far.

At some point, we started to believe is totally impossible any of us to do something good with our lives. We have all the tools, potentials and opportunities, and in some alternative reality we are both fantastic: I'm not afraid to be who I want to be and this is the best place on earth to live.

But in this one, we are both stuck on this idiotic and unbearable sense of being destined to fail.

We both need therapy. 

A note

I was watching one of the Radiohead's concerts on YouTube thinking I'm still very attracted to Thom Yorke. Maybe more, he seems to be getting sexier over the years.

But I must add, I'd do Colin Greenwood any day of the week. 

Just wanna to point that out

Bono turned 60

Today Bono turned 60 years old.

It amazes me to still remember the day of his birth. Today I barely know the name of new singers or bands I start to listen the songs, but I can tell you by heart that his real name is Paul David Hewson, born May 10th, 1960.

He was my first sex symbol and personal hero in the 90's. I had pictures of him in my wardrobe and notebook (a real notebook, made of paper and written by pen)

By the time he turned 50 any of that felt truth anymore. He had shake hands with too many people and companies and said too much about political and social matters too delicate to me. I could not held the hand of a devil like he does. A few years ago  I read somewhere he had said "Bono is tired of Bono." I liked that.

Despite any political difference or disagreement, U2 has always been part of the soundtrack of my life. At some night last week I played some U2's records back to back and I felt happy, I felt at home. I hope to keep feeling like that. With the rest of the band, his voice and lyrics has saved me many times. I hope there's still more U2 albums to come.

The world has changed a lot and very quick lately. The sense of political difference has another scale ever since truth and good lost their meaning. So now, at his 60s and my 40s, I'm happy he's still around, old and doing music, helping people, saying shit and whatever.
You're not on a pedestal anymore but keep banging your drums, Bono. I'm listening.

===

(A memory came to my mind now:  after the last U2 gig I saw, I was in a very crowded bus going back home and a woman on my side said Bono shouldn't talk about politics at the concerts because people were there for the songs. I turned to her and said that if she really thought that then she didn't know anything about U2. Other people on the bus back me up.

Maybe you still are a bit of a hero, babe)